The Effects of Gambling on the Spouse

Aside from the damaging effects that gambling has on the gambler, researchers have also noted that the consequences of problem gambling can extend to the gambler’s spouse and family. In fact, the National Gambling Impact Study Commission Report suggested that millions of families throughout the nation suffer from the effects of problem and pathological gambling. For example, researchers investigating the impact of pathological gambling on spouses have found that 99% of the spouses reported experiencing financial problems due to their partners’ gambling. Spouses had to give up personal savings or earnings and borrow money to pay for gambling debts, bills, and other essentials. The financial burden caused by a partner’s gambling may require that the spouse takeover management of household finances and deal with debt collectors, credit bureaus, and legal matters. Spouses of problem gamblers also report physical symptoms such as headaches and gastrointestinal ailments that are likely related to the distress caused by a partner’s disordered gambling. Psychological symptoms such as depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation may also be reported by a gambler’s spouse. Lying, deception, and illegal activities, in an attempt to obtain money for gambling, often take their toll on the marital relationship. Other relational problems such as, mistrust, poor communication, unsatisfactory sexual relations, abuse, domestic violence, neglect, separation and divorce can be consequences of a gambling disorder. These findings indicate that the spouse and the family can be greatly affected by disordered gambling and that spouses may benefit from psychological support.

Attending to the Spouse in Treatment

In treating problem gamblers it has become clear that there are many cases in which a concerned partner is involved. Often partners call requesting information about our treatment program. Other times partners call to describe their desperate situation in which they are willing to do anything to help their loved one. These situations confirm the need for a protocol that utilizes family members’ care and investment in their partners. As health care providers we need to ask ourselves how we can best educate partners and family members of pathological gamblers and how we can best integrate them into gambling treatment. Because family members also suffer financial, emotional, and physical consequences of gambling, it is also appropriate to determine what family members’ current needs are.

Health care providers can attend to certain themes that become prominent when changes due to a partner’s gambling have occurred as described above. Often partners develop mistrust and become suspicious of their gambling spouse, resulting in feelings of anxiety and worry. Partners’ belief in a fair and just world may also be shattered. Feeling victimized can lead to anger and resentment. A partner’s self-worth may be jeopardized and self blame can result from the inability to understand and explain the reasons for the irrational behavior. Attending to the emotional needs of the family members can be one way to involve them in the treatment of a partner’s gambling disorder. Couples can also attend treatment together and work towards better communication and agreed upon goals (i.e., controlled gambling or abstinence). Although there are no validated treatments for disordered gambling incorporating the spouse, researchers have begun to explore this area. Preliminary work suggests that treatments that emphasize empathy, acceptance, and tolerance may be the best approach for couples therapy with gambling problems.